"When someone else pisses me off I don't believe that the responsibility is even partly my own."
This morning, I said goodbye to a friend. I wish I hadn’t done it. I wish I’d given myself more time before I gave up on a friendship. But I felt so weary of walking on eggshells with him and so hopeless that it could ever be otherwise that I impulsively bailed out. I feel bad about it. But I don’t know what else to do. I like this person. I would like to have a lasting friendship with him. But things happen when we communicate that I don’t know how to handle, and I feel worn down by continuing to try.
Some would say that if I really value his friendship, I’ll keep trying to find a way to preserve it. But to what end? So that he and I can keep having misunderstandings and upsets over ridiculously trivial things? So that we both feel as though we have to cautiously watch everything we do and say around one another?
I don’t feel strong enough to deal with it. Even so, I might hang in there if I thought it would be of any benefit to him. But I don’t see how it would be to him or to me to go on the way we’re going. And I don’t see how we can make it go any differently.
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