Tuesday, June 10, 2008

How Nakedly Should I Reflect?

I recently posted an entry about how "part of me" would have liked to kill the person(s) who burned down a local children's playground and thereby "utterly and irrevocably obliterate the evil in our midst." Although I acknowledged that this would be even worse than the act of arson for which it was a response, I still felt reluctant to express my violent thoughts toward the perpetrator, and when I learned that my entry was being considered for publication in the Blogwatch column of the local Sunday paper, I seriously considered modifying my homicidal remarks if not striking them altogether. However, I decided to let them remain as they were because, after all, they nakedly reflected how part of me felt during a brief, not-so-shining moment in the aftermath of the fire.

Yet, this raises two questions. First, is there something wrong with me for briefly experiencing these violent feelings toward the perpetrator? Second, should I refrain from expressing these feelings openly in my blog (or anywhere else) because when I don't, I may reinforce and strengthen them?

Actually, my sense is that when I'm able to admit to these feelings, not only to myself but also to others, I'm further weakening their already tenuous hold on my heart and mind. But is my perception accurate?

I wonder if I should go on nakedly reflecting my thoughts and feelings as openly as I sometimes do here, or if I should put some clothes on them.

5 comments:

Sri Krishna said...

It seems to this avatar that the part of you that wishes to destroy evil is the only normal part of you left. You should amplify it, not eliminate it.

Nagarjuna said...

I should "amplify" wanting to beat or shoot to death people who torch playgrounds?

Sri Krishna said...

Absolutely. It is a noble part of you. Unless you're crazy enough to act on your feelings. Which seems possible. In that case, keep on repressing and remain in the half-human state. You can't be trusted not to abuse righteous wrath.

Nagarjuna said...

No, I wouldn't act out my feelings. But why is it "noble" to nurture homicidal anger that one doesn't act out? Would any genuine Christian or other religious saint or sage advise that we do this? Is this a prerequisite or actual aspect of spiritual growth, and does it make future acts of evil less or MORE likely?

Sri Krishna said...

Yes!