Am I truly as clueless and my ideas as nonsensical and worthless as I've been told they are by someone I respect? I know I'm not a smart man, but am I even stupider than I thought, even in one of those extremely limited areas where I thought I might at least not be stupid even if I know I'm not smart?
I ask this with sadness but not with despair. I ask it because I want to know, and not because I want to be flattered. In fact, I'm not asking anyone to answer my question. Nobody really can but I myself, if anyone can.
I don't feel depressed, but my mind and heart are in turmoil. I don't know what to say or do. I think of the song that Richie Havens made famous called Motherless Child. That's how I feel.
A long way from my home and with nothing more to say.
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